PreviousNext

Cheryl Barrier: 'I found my gay husband a boyfriend'

By // Headlines | Cheryl Barrier: 'I found my gay husband a boyfriend'
Email to a friend Plain text Print version // Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font
Ashley, 27, and Cheryl, 30, were happily married until Ashley realised he was gay

Cheryl Barrier thought she had the perfect marriage. With a handsome husband and two young daughters, her life was complete.

But just two years ago, her life was turned upside down when her husband Ashley discovered that he was gay.

At first Cheryl, 30, felt as though her life had crumbled around her.

But instead of being angry, Cheryl found the inner strength to forgive her former husband - and even helped him to find a boyfriend.

Now, Ashley and Nathan are happily married - while Cheryl is regarded as a close family friend.

The three, who appeared on the This Morning sofa to discuss their unusual relationship, say that they are now one big happy family.

Cheryl, who many would have forgiven for presuming her five year marriage to Ashley had been a sham, says she never had an inkling her husband was gay.

'I never had a clue,' she says now. 'There was never a time when I thought he was effeminate, or gay.

'I never thought for a minute he was curbing his instinct.'

Even more surprising is the fact that Ashley says that he didn't know either.

So was it just a road to Damascus transformation? 'Yes,' says Ashley. 'I never had an inkling.

'AlI I ever wanted was kids and a wife. I’ve always said that if I’d known, I wouldn’t have married and had my children.

'But I don’t regret that for a minute. Back then, I loved it – we were very happy together.'

The two met when Ashley was 19 and Cheryl was 23 through their siblings. It was love at first sight and the pair married quickly.

'There were three dates that we could get married on - and one of them was a month away, Ashley recalls. 'We went for that one - we only had a month to plan our wedding.'

The two were blissfully happy, until one night when the two decided to watch an adult film together.

The pornographic scenes of a heterosexual couple gave way to some scenes involving two men engaged in a sex act together.

'As I came across it, I didn't turn it off,' Ashley says. 'At first, it was just that it didn't annoy or repulse me. I was shocked to find I liked it,' he says.

Further on, as I kept going, I realised I really did like it.'

At that point, Ashley decided he must be bisexual. Realising her husband had made a major discovery, Cheryl urged her Ashley to explore that area of his life.

'We spoke about his feelings,' Cheryl says. 'It wasn't something that happened overnight. I said to Ashley, "you have to experience that part of your life. I don't want you to live a lie with me and the children.'

Then, Ashley was still under the impression he was bisexual - but decided to do as Cheryl suggested and look for a boyfriend.

'You can't control when that 'something' comes out,' Ashley says. 'I was as shocked as Cheryl.

'You don't just wake up one day and go, "I'm gay!". It happened gradually.

'We talked in depth about it,' says Cheryl. 'It’s not something we light-heartedly skimmed over.’

Remarkably, Cheryl says she holds no anger towards the man who left her for another man.

'Anger? ‘I have gay relationships in my family already,' she says. 'My brother is gay as well. We are used to dealing with gays in the family, it’s accepted.'

Cheryl and Ashley admit that telling the children was the hardest part.

'We spoke about it, then it came to, "How do we tell the kids?’

'I’ve lost you as a husband but I want to keep you as a friend'

'We both dealt with it a mature way,' Ashley says - adding that Cheryl showed what a good friend she could be.

For Cheryl's part, she says she does not grieve for the husband she lost.

'I'd rather have him as a good friend,' she says. 'We need to keep relationship natural and good for children.'

'We used to send each other cards – I’ve lost you as a husband but I want to keep you as a friend,’ Ashley adds.

Soon after the couple split, Ashley met Nathan and the two were married within the year.

Ashley says he knew Nathan was the one as soon as they met - but that telling Cheryl was difficult.

‘I knew he was the one, but to tell my ex-wife was the final bit. To tell her, I've moved on, I've met someone who is The One - that was hard,' he says.

For his part, Nathan, who came out to his family when he was 13, is open-minded about the unusual situation.

He says he was brought up with a big family, so the fact that Ashley had children - and a wife - didn't perturb him at all.

So is Nathan at all worried that Ashley could return to heterosexual past?

 'At the beginning, we were all so close. In the back of my mind I thought he could go back with Cheryl again. But once we had our Civil Partnership I knew.

'But we are all still very close.'

Ashley says that by appearing on This Morning, he hopes to help other men who might be in the same situation.

'It's not about not being true to yourself,' he says. 'Some people are ashamed, and I want them to see how well we work as a family unit. We work great together. Hopefully people can see how accepting we are.'



Headlines Newsview all

Muslim hate preacher was allowed to spread jihad in British mosques before London bombings

A MUSLIM hate preacher who was allowed to tour British mosques and spread the message of jihad may have planted the idea of the London ... Full story

Another reason to quit the EU: Foreigners rack up £723m NHS bill

Figures produced by the Department of Health show that, since 2007-8, the UK has paid £6.18billion in health costs for British citizens in Europe – ... Full story

ISIS warns London is next in terror video threatening non-Muslims across Europe

ISLAMIC State has issued a chilling video warning that London is next to be hit by a terror attack at least as deadly as the ... Full story

Police psychological sick leave up 35% in five years

Cases of UK police officers and staff taking long-term sick leave for psychological reasons have risen by 35% over the last five years, statistics obtained ... Full story

Panama Papers: Cameron under pressure over tax havens

David Cameron is coming under pressure to stop British overseas territories and Crown dependencies being used by the wealthy to reduce their tax bills. A massive ... Full story

Donald Trump Is An ‘Idiot’ Whose Nato Comments Are Making Putin Happy, Say British MPs

Donald Trump is an “idiot” for his criticism of Nato and is making Vladimir Putin “very happy”, British MPs have said. On Saturday, the frontrunner in ... Full story

Royal Mint mark Queen's birthday with £5 coin - which could cost you as much as £7,500

Struck by the Royal Mint they have been issued in a variety of finishes and metals, including editions in platinum, gold and silver. The coins feature ... Full story

Feeling the pressure? Cameron snaps with bizarre rant over EU referendum

David Cameron dismissed talk of a split in the Tory party and in a bizarre rant said it was just journalists “setting each others’ hair ... Full story

Leaving Europe is VITAL to protect strained NHS, warns Cabinet minister

Cabinet member and Employment Minister Priti Patel has warned the health service will be better off if the UK votes to leave the EU. She claims ... Full story

Santander cash machine ALERT: Police warn public NOT to use cashpoints over security risk

Forces in both Lancashire and Cheshire have issued alerts over the use of Santander cashpoints as customers' details may be at risk. The warning follows reports ... Full story

Holiday bargains for families as costs tumble across EU: Britons set to save HUNDREDS

Costs across Europe have plummeted as the price of food, drinks and entertainment has been slashed in resorts.  They have nosedived more than 40 per cent ... Full story

Comment on: Cheryl Barrier: 'I found my gay husband a boyfriend'

Rate this article

0

Breaking News

Chelsea Flower Show sees two Australian women create 300,000 knitted poppies

Thousands of handmade poppies have transformed the Royal Hospital Chelsea in a beautiful new exhibitionChelsea Pensioners were treated to a sneak preview ahead of the show's opening ...

MS804 did NOT swerve or lose altitude before it vanished, says Egypt air traffic official – as memorial service is held for the 66 victims at Cairo mosque

By Simon Tomlinson for MailOnline Published: 01:50 EST, 24 May 2016 | Updated: 02:09 EST, 24 May 2016 ...

Thailand students dead after fire ripped through Pitakiatwittaya School in Chiang Rai

Eighteen girls at Pitakiatwittaya School died after becoming trapped Survivors were only able to escape because they had not yet gone to bedThai authorities are investigating ...

Philip Green's advisers knew BHS buyer was bankrupt 3 months before sale

Advisers in Sir Philip's empire knew Dominic Chappell had been bankrupt Revelations emerged yesterday in Commons Business Work and Pensions select committees hearing yesterdayThe 88-year-old British ...

Clancy Leach 'egged Kendall and Kylie Jenner fan event and growled at police'

Clancy Leach is accused of hurling eggs at stage of reality stars' eventShe was arrested at Westfield in Parramatta, western Sydney, in NovemberPolice allege she ...

The 'forgotten' iconic Australian companies that have been sold into foreign ownership 

Australian Leather Pty Ltd fighting in U.S. court over the name 'ugg boots' Sydney-based company is trying to stop Deckers from getting a trademark The case is ...

Hawaii plane crash kills five during skydiving tour in Hanapepe

Five died when plane crashed moments after take off at Port Allen AirportTwo tandem jumpers, two skydive instructors and a pilot were all killedThe single-engine ...

St Mary's Catholic University reports UK Christians are now a MINORIITY

A 2014 census study shows number of 'nones' is now above 50 per centPercentage has almost doubled since the census three years previouslyReport by St ...

Melbourne transport could be benefited by driverless trains

Bombardier boss said driverless trains are being used around the worldHe said driverless trains could be more efficient for Melbourne passengersSystem allows shorter distances between trains so ...

Coca Cola stops production in Venezuela due to sugar shortages

Sugar cane production has dropped amid Venezuela's crippling recessionCoca Cola declared end to sugar-infused Coke in the country on MondayCoke Light and zero-sugar beverages will ...