PreviousNext

Cheryl Barrier: 'I found my gay husband a boyfriend'

By // Headlines | Cheryl Barrier: 'I found my gay husband a boyfriend'
Email to a friend Plain text Print version // Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font
Ashley, 27, and Cheryl, 30, were happily married until Ashley realised he was gay

Cheryl Barrier thought she had the perfect marriage. With a handsome husband and two young daughters, her life was complete.

But just two years ago, her life was turned upside down when her husband Ashley discovered that he was gay.

At first Cheryl, 30, felt as though her life had crumbled around her.

But instead of being angry, Cheryl found the inner strength to forgive her former husband - and even helped him to find a boyfriend.

Now, Ashley and Nathan are happily married - while Cheryl is regarded as a close family friend.

The three, who appeared on the This Morning sofa to discuss their unusual relationship, say that they are now one big happy family.

Cheryl, who many would have forgiven for presuming her five year marriage to Ashley had been a sham, says she never had an inkling her husband was gay.

'I never had a clue,' she says now. 'There was never a time when I thought he was effeminate, or gay.

'I never thought for a minute he was curbing his instinct.'

Even more surprising is the fact that Ashley says that he didn't know either.

So was it just a road to Damascus transformation? 'Yes,' says Ashley. 'I never had an inkling.

'AlI I ever wanted was kids and a wife. I’ve always said that if I’d known, I wouldn’t have married and had my children.

'But I don’t regret that for a minute. Back then, I loved it – we were very happy together.'

The two met when Ashley was 19 and Cheryl was 23 through their siblings. It was love at first sight and the pair married quickly.

'There were three dates that we could get married on - and one of them was a month away, Ashley recalls. 'We went for that one - we only had a month to plan our wedding.'

The two were blissfully happy, until one night when the two decided to watch an adult film together.

The pornographic scenes of a heterosexual couple gave way to some scenes involving two men engaged in a sex act together.

'As I came across it, I didn't turn it off,' Ashley says. 'At first, it was just that it didn't annoy or repulse me. I was shocked to find I liked it,' he says.

Further on, as I kept going, I realised I really did like it.'

At that point, Ashley decided he must be bisexual. Realising her husband had made a major discovery, Cheryl urged her Ashley to explore that area of his life.

'We spoke about his feelings,' Cheryl says. 'It wasn't something that happened overnight. I said to Ashley, "you have to experience that part of your life. I don't want you to live a lie with me and the children.'

Then, Ashley was still under the impression he was bisexual - but decided to do as Cheryl suggested and look for a boyfriend.

'You can't control when that 'something' comes out,' Ashley says. 'I was as shocked as Cheryl.

'You don't just wake up one day and go, "I'm gay!". It happened gradually.

'We talked in depth about it,' says Cheryl. 'It’s not something we light-heartedly skimmed over.’

Remarkably, Cheryl says she holds no anger towards the man who left her for another man.

'Anger? ‘I have gay relationships in my family already,' she says. 'My brother is gay as well. We are used to dealing with gays in the family, it’s accepted.'

Cheryl and Ashley admit that telling the children was the hardest part.

'We spoke about it, then it came to, "How do we tell the kids?’

'I’ve lost you as a husband but I want to keep you as a friend'

'We both dealt with it a mature way,' Ashley says - adding that Cheryl showed what a good friend she could be.

For Cheryl's part, she says she does not grieve for the husband she lost.

'I'd rather have him as a good friend,' she says. 'We need to keep relationship natural and good for children.'

'We used to send each other cards – I’ve lost you as a husband but I want to keep you as a friend,’ Ashley adds.

Soon after the couple split, Ashley met Nathan and the two were married within the year.

Ashley says he knew Nathan was the one as soon as they met - but that telling Cheryl was difficult.

‘I knew he was the one, but to tell my ex-wife was the final bit. To tell her, I've moved on, I've met someone who is The One - that was hard,' he says.

For his part, Nathan, who came out to his family when he was 13, is open-minded about the unusual situation.

He says he was brought up with a big family, so the fact that Ashley had children - and a wife - didn't perturb him at all.

So is Nathan at all worried that Ashley could return to heterosexual past?

 'At the beginning, we were all so close. In the back of my mind I thought he could go back with Cheryl again. But once we had our Civil Partnership I knew.

'But we are all still very close.'

Ashley says that by appearing on This Morning, he hopes to help other men who might be in the same situation.

'It's not about not being true to yourself,' he says. 'Some people are ashamed, and I want them to see how well we work as a family unit. We work great together. Hopefully people can see how accepting we are.'



Tagged : same-sex marriage, marriage, Cheryl Barrier, Homosexuals

Headlines Newsview all

Ebola could hit 15 countries across Africa: Study of how disease has spread in past finds 70million people may be at risk of infection

The Ebola outbreak could hit 15 countries across Africa - putting the lives of 70 million people at risk, a groundbreaking study has found. In a ...

economic ties with China as two countries announce £2.4bn in new commercial deals

Britain is to forge closer economic ties with China after Chancellor George Osborne announced £2.4billion in new commercial deals with the People’s Republic. As the annual ...

Manchester Dogs Home: Public raise over £200,000 in hours after dogs home fire

Donations have poured in for Manchester Dogs’ Home after a fire ripped through the premises, killing more than 53 dogs last night. A JustGiving page set ...

Manchester Dogs' Home: 15-year-old questioned on suspicion of arson attack after blaze kills 40 dogs

A 15-year-old boy is being questioned on suspicion of arson after a blaze at Manchester Dogs' Home which killed more than 40 dogs. Firefighters were called ...

Oscar Pistorius braced for verdict in Reeva Steenkamp murder trial

The judge in the Oscar Pistorius murder trial has started delivering her long-awaited verdict in a case that has gripped the world - a decision ...

Airline passenger was accidentally given suitcase full of plastic EXPLOSIVES left at Sydney airport by the AFP a month ago... then took them home 

A woman got more than what she bargained for when she was given a replacement suitcase at Sydney airport after her luggage was damaged on ...

I'm convinced Oscar Pistorius is innocent, says journalist to have spent time with the time athlete during his murder trial

Mark Williams-Thomas believes athlete shot Reeva Steenkamp by mistake Reporter says he has spoken to Paralympian and his family in 'real detail' He says double-amputee is a ...

Royal baby hoax hospital staff wanted to discipline nurse Jacintha Saldanha

An Australian DJ has made a face-to-face apology to the family of a nurse who killed herself after she put her through to the Duchess of ... Full story

Trainee teacher hangs himself after split from the girlfriend he couldn’t live without

A trainee teacher hanged himself on New Year’s Eve after a split from his girlfriend, an inquest heard today. Keiran Walsh, 22, split from his partner ... Full story

White Dee, Benefits Street's most infamous and shameless resident

Late on a dark and rainy night, it is all go-go-go down at White Dee’s house in Birmingham. There is a pan of fish stew ... Full story

DJ Chris Moyles claimed to be a second-hand CAR DEALER to save £1 million in celebrity tax avoidance scheme

DJ Chris Moyles claimed to be a second-hand car dealer while presenting Radio 1’s Breakfast Show in a bid to save up to £1million in ... Full story

Comment on: Cheryl Barrier: 'I found my gay husband a boyfriend'

Rate this article

0

Featured author

julian nwogu

Breaking News

British man flees Thai island where tourists were murdered claiming his life is at risk from mafia who 'killed them' 

Sean McAnna says he was chased by men who quizzed him about murdersHannah Witheridge, 23, and David Miller, 24, murdered on September 15  By Richard Shears for ...

PC who was caught on CCTV dragging woman by her hair and punching her three times loses appeal as judge brands him 'dishonest and scheming'

James Kiddie was filmed punching Sarah Reed in face three times Dragged the 30-year-old by the hair across the floor of shop office He was convicted of ...

Ideal time for a bike ride! Motorcyclist films amazing footage speeding through puddles as he is covered in mud during a monsoon

California's Cole Gibson takes rivetting ride after monsoonal rainsHe rides with a friend through flooding streets and riversOut of the town of Joshua Tree, the ...

Gymnasts perform Olympic-style moves using ropes and rings while dangling from a bridge

Gymnasts perform array of moves off rings and ropes attached to bridgeFrench athletes complete circling, transitional, and release movesGymnasts somersault off bridge in Olympic style ...

Only in LA! Welcome to the Feline Film Festival... where fans queue for HOURS to meet their favourite celebrity cats

Estimated 10,000 attended Feline Film Festival in LA on SundayThe event is one of 39 scheduled stops on an international cat tour One woman said she ...

Watch the 'ridiculous' brawl between Man Utd fans and a Where's Wally stag party on a moving train station travelator

CCTV footage shows stag party in fancy dress scrapping with football fansEyre family from Chesterfield had been watching Man Utd at Old TraffordThey encountered stag party ...

'Please God, get me home to my girls.' Navy SEAL shot 27 times by Al Qaeda shares his amazing survival story

Mike Day was serving in Iraq when he came face-to-face with four terroristsBody armour took 11 strikes - despite being designed to withstand just one Day ...

The adorable police spaniel pups which will soon be sniffing out drugs and explosives 

West Midlands Police proudly reveal their latest canine recruitsBrood of Springer-Cocker Spaniel cross puppies will become sniffer dogsThey will be taught to foil some of Britain's ...

Thirteen suspected illegal immigrants detained after running from the back of a lorry on busy M25

Rush-hour traffic had to be slowed between J12 and J13 of M25 in SurreyLorry had driven from scene by time police officers arrived this morningBut ...

Eight-year-old boxer Taz has saved more than 20 dogs' lives after donating blood to his local bank

Taz, of Walkden, Manchester, has been donating blood for two yearsHis owner Sami Platts-Ford, 29, says Taz is checked over on every visitTaz donates through ...