PreviousNext

Cheryl Barrier: 'I found my gay husband a boyfriend'

By // Headlines | Cheryl Barrier: 'I found my gay husband a boyfriend'
Email to a friend Plain text Print version // Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font
Ashley, 27, and Cheryl, 30, were happily married until Ashley realised he was gay

Cheryl Barrier thought she had the perfect marriage. With a handsome husband and two young daughters, her life was complete.

But just two years ago, her life was turned upside down when her husband Ashley discovered that he was gay.

At first Cheryl, 30, felt as though her life had crumbled around her.

But instead of being angry, Cheryl found the inner strength to forgive her former husband - and even helped him to find a boyfriend.

Now, Ashley and Nathan are happily married - while Cheryl is regarded as a close family friend.

The three, who appeared on the This Morning sofa to discuss their unusual relationship, say that they are now one big happy family.

Cheryl, who many would have forgiven for presuming her five year marriage to Ashley had been a sham, says she never had an inkling her husband was gay.

'I never had a clue,' she says now. 'There was never a time when I thought he was effeminate, or gay.

'I never thought for a minute he was curbing his instinct.'

Even more surprising is the fact that Ashley says that he didn't know either.

So was it just a road to Damascus transformation? 'Yes,' says Ashley. 'I never had an inkling.

'AlI I ever wanted was kids and a wife. I’ve always said that if I’d known, I wouldn’t have married and had my children.

'But I don’t regret that for a minute. Back then, I loved it – we were very happy together.'

The two met when Ashley was 19 and Cheryl was 23 through their siblings. It was love at first sight and the pair married quickly.

'There were three dates that we could get married on - and one of them was a month away, Ashley recalls. 'We went for that one - we only had a month to plan our wedding.'

The two were blissfully happy, until one night when the two decided to watch an adult film together.

The pornographic scenes of a heterosexual couple gave way to some scenes involving two men engaged in a sex act together.

'As I came across it, I didn't turn it off,' Ashley says. 'At first, it was just that it didn't annoy or repulse me. I was shocked to find I liked it,' he says.

Further on, as I kept going, I realised I really did like it.'

At that point, Ashley decided he must be bisexual. Realising her husband had made a major discovery, Cheryl urged her Ashley to explore that area of his life.

'We spoke about his feelings,' Cheryl says. 'It wasn't something that happened overnight. I said to Ashley, "you have to experience that part of your life. I don't want you to live a lie with me and the children.'

Then, Ashley was still under the impression he was bisexual - but decided to do as Cheryl suggested and look for a boyfriend.

'You can't control when that 'something' comes out,' Ashley says. 'I was as shocked as Cheryl.

'You don't just wake up one day and go, "I'm gay!". It happened gradually.

'We talked in depth about it,' says Cheryl. 'It’s not something we light-heartedly skimmed over.’

Remarkably, Cheryl says she holds no anger towards the man who left her for another man.

'Anger? ‘I have gay relationships in my family already,' she says. 'My brother is gay as well. We are used to dealing with gays in the family, it’s accepted.'

Cheryl and Ashley admit that telling the children was the hardest part.

'We spoke about it, then it came to, "How do we tell the kids?’

'I’ve lost you as a husband but I want to keep you as a friend'

'We both dealt with it a mature way,' Ashley says - adding that Cheryl showed what a good friend she could be.

For Cheryl's part, she says she does not grieve for the husband she lost.

'I'd rather have him as a good friend,' she says. 'We need to keep relationship natural and good for children.'

'We used to send each other cards – I’ve lost you as a husband but I want to keep you as a friend,’ Ashley adds.

Soon after the couple split, Ashley met Nathan and the two were married within the year.

Ashley says he knew Nathan was the one as soon as they met - but that telling Cheryl was difficult.

‘I knew he was the one, but to tell my ex-wife was the final bit. To tell her, I've moved on, I've met someone who is The One - that was hard,' he says.

For his part, Nathan, who came out to his family when he was 13, is open-minded about the unusual situation.

He says he was brought up with a big family, so the fact that Ashley had children - and a wife - didn't perturb him at all.

So is Nathan at all worried that Ashley could return to heterosexual past?

 'At the beginning, we were all so close. In the back of my mind I thought he could go back with Cheryl again. But once we had our Civil Partnership I knew.

'But we are all still very close.'

Ashley says that by appearing on This Morning, he hopes to help other men who might be in the same situation.

'It's not about not being true to yourself,' he says. 'Some people are ashamed, and I want them to see how well we work as a family unit. We work great together. Hopefully people can see how accepting we are.'



Tagged : same-sex marriage, marriage, Cheryl Barrier, Homosexuals

Headlines Newsview all

Flood alerts are issued for huge stretch of London and Thames Barrier is closed for first time this winter after river burst its banks due to massive tides and heavy rain

Flood alerts have been issued for a huge section of the River Thames from Greenwich to Putney, west London Thames Barrier was closed for the first ... Full story

Up to 60 dead and dozens more injured in Mexican prison riot as locals report hearing gunfire and explosions inside compound

A riot and fire broke out at the Topo Chico prison in the north of Mexico  State Governor has confirmed 52 people are dead and twelve ... Full story

Woman slices off her brother-in-law's genitals 'as he raped her' then hands the severed member in to police as evidence in India

Mother-of-three stunned police officers by handing over the severed organ She claimed chopping it off with a sickle was the only way to stop the man Brother-in-law ... Full story

TOM UTLEY: What the estate agent who sold my dad's dingy house could teach Dave about honesty

When my parents decided to sell the house in which I was born, they went to the then fashionable estate agent Roy Brooks, who was ... Full story

Heartbroken newlyweds handed £12k payout after dream honeymoon turned into nightmare

A pair of heartbroken newlyweds have received a five-figure settlement from Thomas Cook after their dream honeymoon turned into a nightmare. Guy Chapman, 37, and wife ... Full story

Illegal cannabis oil 'stops terminally ill dad's brain tumour growing'

A terminally-ill dad claims illegal cannabis oil has stopped his brain tumour growing. Kieran McCrory was given just nine months to live after being diagnosed two ... Full story

Jilted boyfriend who threatened to slit ex's throat spared jail after she reveals they're back together

A jilted boyfriend who threatened to slit his ex-girlfriend's throat and tortured her cat has been spared jail - after she revealed they're back together. Glen ... Full story

Poundland worker stabbed in stomach with hypodermic needle over Toblerone chocolate theft

A worker at Poundland was stabbed in the stomach with a hypodermic needle after challenging a thief who was stealing a Toblerone chocolate bar. Claire Slimman ... Full story

Farmer Tony Martin jailed for fatally shooting teenage burglar will not face charges over fresh firearms investigation

Farmer Tony Martin - who was jailed for killing a teenage burglar - will not face charges over a new firearms investigation. Martin, now 71, served ... Full story

Live: Adam Johnson trial begins as sacked Sunderland star denies child sex charges

Sacked Sunderland footballer Adam Johnson will begin his trial over child sex offences today. The winger, 28, dismissed by the club last night, denies two charges ... Full story

Sex attack brute bit and stamped on woman who caught him touching her up as she slept

A violent thug punched and stamped on a woman in a terrifying ordeal after she caught him touching her up as she slept. Daniel Craig was ... Full story

Comment on: Cheryl Barrier: 'I found my gay husband a boyfriend'

Rate this article

0

Breaking News

£50,000 spent on rent before buying a home

Rising rents and the need for larger deposits as house prices keep soaring  First-time buyers will have paid an average of almost £53,000 to landlords  More than ...

Inside the world of the man charged who 'tried to kill backpackers' in Salt Creek attack

Man accused in Salt Creek attack is a gun lover and shark fisherman He has posted photos on his social media pages of his weapons He also ...

Commuter misery as arctic blast causes slippery railway tracks

Commuters across London and the south east have found themselves stranded as dozens of trains are cancelled Arctic blast which hit Britain has caused slippery rail ...

Outback wrangler Matt Wright snares second biggest crocodile ever caught in Australia 

The crocodile reportedly weighs 890kg and measures up at 5.58m  It was thought to be captured in late 2009 by animal expert Matt Wright The crocodile's measurements and location are yet to be verified At ...

Britons barred from jobs if they don’t speak some languages

Unemployed Britons barred from jobs if they don't speak certain languages Government-backed recruitment site advertises cleaning and security jobs But many say employees need to speal Polish, ...

Meredith Diaz tells how she discovered her husband Keith Charles was already married

Meredith Diaz married Keith Charles Diaz, 27, in Hawaii in 2014 and the couple went on to have a child She grew suspicious of him in ...

Aldi expands its wacky range of specials to include Cocoon Create 3D Printers

Cocoon Create 3D Printer, 3D Pen and Filament going on sale at Aldi Can print toys, jewellery, crafts, replacement parts, figurines etc. Comes with an LDC control ...

Man with machete attacks Nazareth Restaurant customers in Ohio before police kill him

Man stormed Nazareth Restaurant and Deli in Columbus on Thursday He randomly attacked people as they sat unsuspectingly at their tables Four people were injured in the ...

Trip Advisor and Amazon reviews probed by Competition and Markets Authority

Authority fears £23 million wasted online every year due to dodgy reviews Competition and Markets Authority reviewing evidence sites pay for posts CMA investigating sellers and businesses ...

QUENTIN LETTS sees Matthew Perry's new play The End of Longing

The End of Longing   by Matthew Perry, Playhouse Theatre   Rating: Verdict: Friends on the rocks   Matthew Perry, who played amiable but slightly dull Chandler in TV’s Friends, ...